14 5 / 2012
one day at a time. one step at a time. that’s what i keep telling myself.
& i am happy, there are too many things to be grateful for. too many things that could have gone disastrously wrong. with time, i am slowly healing & maybe one day i may even not hurt anymore.
but a part of me is just waiting.. waiting.. and for what, i don’t even know.
i have died every day, waiting for you.
we all have stories to tell. and i think all i want is for you to be here. be 100% here. be HERE for me, and listen to my silence, to the words i cannot find.
because i know exactly how this story ends. it starts with me dying piece by piece, and you never realizing, or realizing too late.
it starts with the smallest seed of doubt that you let grow each day, proving to me again and again, that even if i don’t mean nothing, i don’t mean enough.
& i just don’t know how to tell you. that i don’t want to do this to myself. that i don’t deserve this hopeless struggle. this spiral into an abyss of darkness. i don’t want to fall.
which is why i fought you every step of the way. which is why i actively try to walk. and i always will. at the first instant, i will try to take flight.
every bird who tries to fly… will first plummet a few feet. i must believe that things will pick up for me. & one day all this will just seem silly. it always does in retrospect. :)
(Source: awesome-pictures, via inspiring-pictures)
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